ok, been in hell lately...i was laid off of work two weeks ago for a whole week, got back to work last tuesday, and it was a bitch. both tuesday and wednesday, i went straight home and crashed. it was killing me to stop working and jump back in again. but that was only the beginning.
i got my check last friday and got out early, so i decided to go get my mom dq because she had been dying to try that pumpkin blizzard. so i was having a pretty good day. until later that night...i went to hang out with friends out at the bowling alley and skateland, but i didn't know that we were gonna have to do some chasing and that i would get stuck driving a couple of little bitches around telling me where to go, making me go in circles because i was getting lost and they were enjoying it, and then they were messing with my car, putting it in neutral when i was trying to drive. on top of that, i had to spend about $60 for all the gas that i used just over the weekend from driving them and my "friends" around to do stuff that they wanted to do. and i was bored pretty much the whole time. i started out with $100 friday night and was broke by sunday. and it just got better.
i started throwing up at 1am monday morning and i couldn't babysit my cousin, so i had to stay home all damn day and stay in bed...which totally sucked...but then i came to find out that my friend didn't have the money he owed me, so i couldn't even get to work unless i borrowed more money from my mom for gas...which she got pissed off about and said that since i haven't been able to pay her the money that i owe her already, which is almost $200 because i didn't have a job when she started this and i've been getting tighter on my bills, which i will get more into in a moment...but she said that now, she's gonna start charging me an extra 10% every month until it's paid off. and that's still not all.
i went back into work again on tuesday and they said that some of our shipments were bad last week, so we weren't having as many orders this week. then they said that they needed 8 people to take unemployment for the rest of this week. they had 10 volunteers and went back into the office to discuss it. they came back out and said that even though i didn't volunteer (obviously i wouldn't because i need the money! and i only get $9.21/hour right now! i need all the time for work i can get!) but anyway, they said that i had to go because i haven't been there long enough, had enough experience, and i still wasn't feeling good. so i went home bawling at 10am. i had only been there for 4 hours and had to go home for the rest of the week. and i don't get paid for that since this is my first job.
well, i went and got my hair hacked off on tuesday and it looks almost like how it did when my grandparents had it hacked off when i dyed my hair black the first time, but this time, it was my choosing, and it's hot! i'll put pics on asap of my hair as well as my baby, my car. my car is my baby because i take care of it on my own. but ya, back to the rest of the story.
i had to take my sister to church last night because my mom said that she had to clean house to get ready for the jewelry party that we're having on sunday. i still haven't been feeling good, but i did it anyway and almost threw up twice. but i get in and talk to the priest and realize that i've been making myself sick because of stress and fear. but then i also realized that being laid off again must have been a sign that i shouldn't go out so much on the weekends anymore because it will just take more money out of my pockets than i can afford. i only get paid every other week, and i have to pay for gas and groceries with what i don't put into my account to make sure my bills are paid.
next up, we have a possibility of me moving out sooner than anyone thought. there's an apartment that's in a nearby town for a max of $266 a month for rent. but that's not covering all utilities, just garbage, sewer, and water. i have to pay another $100-$150 for heat and electric. plus my car insurance is $166, my car payments are $150, and i'm still gonna need to get a cell for emergencies and so i don't have to pay for a house phone when i move out. funny thing is, my mom called me at work yesterday and had me call and ask about it. hmmm...what does that hint at?
i already have 3 jobs: glass factory making windows, babysitting, and working when needed for the local newspaper. and that's just during the week. i've decided that since i shouldn't be going out and spending money on the weekends, i should go out and make more money. that's right. another job. part time. this will help me to get out of the house still, but i will also be getting more money to help out with my bills and all. yes, i'm becoming a work-a-holic, but i don't have a lot of other choice. i need to go in to see a doctor because there's something wrong with my ovaries (not going into much detail for all the guys that read this!), but i think i might have cists. and on top of that, i need to go in to see the shrink again so that i can make it through all of this until i get out on my own where it won't be as stressful with so many people in the same house every weekend almost. so i'm gonna be adding 2 more bills onto what i already owe for doctors.
so if i don't get on a whole lot anymore and don't talk as much, i'm sorry, consider this your heads-up that i'm gonna be busier than ever. i don't really want to do all of this, but this needs to be done because half of my stress comes from home if not most of it. this is the only way i can do this that i know of. i can't trade any of my other jobs in for different reasons that i would be more than happy to explain. i'm only asking 2 things of my friends on here right now. one, please be patient with me during all of this when it comes to keeping in touch. two, cross your fingers for me. i already have more on my plate than i can handle and i'm piling more on it to get rid of some of it within time.
is stressing in order to stop stressing
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